How to Change Your Mindset
It’s been awhile since I have written my blog posts consistently. Being a mom to three kids is no joke! We are literally a circus everywhere we go.
Plus running a business— I feel like life just gets too crazy sometimes and looking for positive things can seem almost bothersome.
Anyways, I have had it weighing on me to get some things off of my heart and mind.
In the midst of so many changes you go through unexplainably rough days, you just do.
Turning your intentions to positive ones and coming up with a way to change your mindset is key!
With social media being as prevalent as it is these days it’s hard to not start speaking up more, especially when you see so many things you disagree with, or people who like to make you feel like your less than.
I tend to keep my mouth shut quite a bit, but there’s also those moments when I don’t.
And I’m kind of, sort of.. but not really ashamed of it.
This past year there has been a lot more moments where I have been speaking my own truth, and pissing off a lot of people in the process. And oh boy, do I have haters now. Old Courtney would have obsessed about every single one. New Courtney is ready to move forward.
I am only me and that’s all i can really be.
And I’m finally starting to be ok with, me.
Validations from others don’t seem to get to me as much as they used to.
The older i am getting and the more experience I attain the more I realize just how unfair life truly is and how little control we have of it.
Not trying to be negative Nancy over here, but for real.
But when is life really fair?
Because when it’s fair for you it’s never fair for someone else.. and that’s not fair either.
That’s what I have been working on with my kids as well.
We have a choice to transform things as a positive or a negative
but whatever way we choose to look at it will continually take presidency over our actions.
The less expectations we have of this world and others the bigger our thankfulness can be.
5 years ago, hell even just two years ago, I was still stuck In the mindset that someday life will be “perfect”.. or atleast what I thought was perfect.
I was chasing that idea all. the. time.
I wanted everyone to like me and I wanted to so bad like everyone else too.
I hurt myself so much thinking that way.
I thought for sure after all I had been through in my short years of life that surely things would someday be different. And they are.. to an extent.
Truth is: life is cruel and probably always will be.
It’s legitimately a war we must fight daily. All the good in the world, and there is just as much evil…
Good days and bad days both come.. and they both go. So do people.
It’s a fight I’m learning I or anyone else won’t ever win and we have no control over it.
Part of accepting the fact that doing my best has got to be good enough isn’t just a daily pep talk I give myself, it’s now survival for me.
Because everyday in my head is a whole different fight; one I am dedicated daily to winning.
We have to not care what others thinks as long as we aren’t harming them.
Train yourself to always think of the worst and how you will overcome that obstacle if it ever does come.
Hope for the best.
There is a way to change those thoughts around
I am still learning how to fully get there myself.
My husband & kids, my faith, and a can-do attitude has been my crutch to get me where I’m at right now. Oh, and people like Gary Vaynerchuk.
(For real, if you haven’t listened to him before and you need a completely new mindset with all B.S. aside.. he is your guy!)
Self love and overcoming pain and/or anxiety is a process that you have to have enough patience for yourself to get through.
Change is inevitable.
Especially when life, shitty relationships, and just shit happens daily.
We all go through seasons where it feels like there is one storm after another but the good news is that seasons do change and light will come again.
It never stays dark forever.
if I had to give one piece of advice for anyone it would be to hang onto whatever hope you have even if thats barely none at all because positive thoughts go such a long way when you are truly consistent with them.
I don’t know about you but I’m so tired of the negative energy that is created in me and around me when I’m full of constant anxiety.
It feels like I’m drowning and I can’t get out sometimes, and it doesn’t help when not a lot of people understand what you are going through.
Whatever it is that makes you feel better and will make you better, just do it.
I am thankful I am now understanding that in all of life’s chaos and bad happenings that it’s not because of me.
And I feel like it’s important for you to understand; it’s not you, either.
It’s not you. It’s not you.
You have to get that.
Because if you don’t you begin to lose who you are really quick.
We have no control over those storms we face. What we do have control of is how we deal with them.
The hardest part can be actually taking that control.
But you can do it, and so can i.
It won’t be easy, but it’s better to put the hard work here now then somewhere else somewhere later down the road. You truly never know who you are inspiring. And maybe you won’t inspire anyone but yourself right away!
That’s ok too!
But, YOU need to come first before anything or anyone else. You will always reap what you sow. Good or bad.
Take care of yourself first.
You can’t hold someone else up if you are falling apart inside.
Do you want more control of your life and happiness?
I can imagine you answered yes, if not.. keep reading this is good for you too!
1.Get adequate sleep every night.
Most people (like me) need 8 hours of sleep every night. Although there are those that can survive on less. Do what works for you! Sometimes when you get too much sleep it’s hard for your body to adjust to being awake again and when you don’t get enough sometimes you can physically get sick. Be aware of what your body is telling you!
2.Get adequate exercise.
Adequate in my opinion is about 3 times a week and whatever your body is accepting of. Exercise releases endorphins into your bloodstream that make you feel happier and more energetic. Don’t wear yourself out though!
3.Learn to live one day at a time.
I bet 98% of the things we worry about don’t ever happen but yet we still worry worry worry.. and worry some more. All of that worrying for no reason eventually takes a toll on your mental, and even your physical health!
4.Listen to music that makes you feel good.
Whether it be something you relate to emotionally or something you just enjoy. Music is good for the soul and I highly encourage it.
5.Talk with a close friend or someone you trust on a weekly basis about frustrations or things that are weighing you down.
*This one is necessary for me! I have always needed someone close to talk to.. it’s harder for me to deal with things the more I push myself away from them.
6.Don’t put things off.
Putting things off can cause so much anxiety! Holy Hanna life can start to seem unmanageable when things that are important to you and your life start getting put off! Find a way to get the important stuff done first! Priorities.. are them straight in your life! You will be so thankful you did.
7.Set a time limit on your worries!
Allow yourself to feel all the feels.. no matter how you are feeling you have every right to feel that way.
The goal is to not unpack and live there.
Move forward with positive intentions.
I know it’s all easier said than done.. but I want you to know that if I can do this that you can too.
I was once hopeless, and even helpless at times.
I tried so many different medications to deal with the pain and anxiety I live with daily and truthfully nothing has ever worked for me as I hoped it would because what I was searching for no medication could reach.
Maybe it works for you, and that’s amazing if it does.
I truly believe it’s made for some people and it’s always important to do what’s best for you.
You know what’s best for yourself better than anyone else.
I had to move out of that shell and into a new one which opened my eyes to so much more that I had been hiding from and I had no option but to just face it.
It’s a huge stabbing pain in the heart when your friends, family, and even doctors don’t support what your doing as your working on yourself. It sucks to feel all alone.
I understand how badly it can hurt, and if I think about it too long with an “unfair” perspective.. I let it consume me and my entire day just as I’m sure others do too.
So, what I tell myself now is- are we going to unpack and live there?
No, we’re not! 😊
You have to remind yourself who your truly doing this for.
You or them?
Know who you are, what you want and claim it.
Love the process, no matter how long it takes you to get there.
Face your fears.
Sometimes the biggest fears we face help shape us to who were truly meant to be.
This world is full of good for all, we just have to seek it in every thought, every action, and every day.
If your you’re authentic self you have no competition, remember that. I hope and pray the best for you all today and everyday.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”